Like many of you, my heart is boiling with fire raging blood in response to the tragic events in Las Vegas. The very last thing any of us needed right now was to mourn another senseless, possibly preventable, mass shooting, the worst America has seen. We are still mourning the refugee ban 10 months ago, and every other subsequent nightmare since, that is every day, all day, sometimes every hour. Writers, journalists, news anchors, comedians, celebrities, politicians, activists, and other people that have careers surrounding the non-stop news, have no choice but to endure it, and then lend our voice to try and light a fire under the dormancy of concern.
It seems we are making noise in echoless rooms.
It seems that we are in hell with no reason to have hope at all.
Yesterday, after all day of grasping for answers, and trying my best to maintain my overwhelming grief, sadness, and frustration, my perspective changed because I absolutely had no choice but to change it. I cannot continue day after day beating my head against brick walls trying to open people’s eyes. Yet, that is what I am called to do. It’s who I am, through and through, without the facade, and without a stage. I am supposed to talk. I am a boat rocker, a belief challenger, and a voice that is called to raise others with the same calling. So I must find a way to endure this. It is hope I am trying to speak and share, and I can’t do that as long as I am living in mind/spirit in this current reality of Hades.
Therefore, I am leaving hell, not physically, but spiritually.
We can choose to leave this behind. We can still act here in word and deed. We can still help others, voice our concerns, and give rise to the truth, but we can do that from a place in ourselves that is free. A place free from fear, worry, anxiety, or anger. We can choose to rest our spirit in the kingdom/queendom of heaven that is within us. We must not allow the darkness of this world to dim that light which is within us. Yesterday, I felt the darkness that was trying to take over. This evil I felt was hopelessness.
Today, I refuse it.
I felt dread.
Today, I refuse it.
I felt rage.
Today, I refuse it.
I felt terrified.
Today, I refuse it.
Today, I refuse anything that doesn’t belong in the age to come.
I may not be able to do that physically, but I can in my mind. I can choose to believe that love, restoration, and peace will win. I believe that. I don’t have any explanation or logical reasons to believe it. I do though. I always have. The world tried to take that hope and belief away from me through religion, conspiracy theories, political divide, social injustice, other sad news, and experiences.
I refuse to be removed from the place I know exists. Perhaps only in our minds right now. But we are not alone in this. There are other dreamers, far more than we think, who can and will join us, and the world will be as one. All believers must do their best to live from this utopia/better world we know is coming. Thrust your thoughts ahead along with the prophet Isaiah, whose vision was the same as ours:
He shall judge between the nations,
and shall arbitrate for many peoples;
they shall beat their swords into plowshares,
and their spears into pruning hooks;
nation shall not lift up sword against nation,
neither shall they learn war anymore.
Isaiah 2:4
This gorgeous passage was the very first thing that popped into my head yesterday morning and learning of the massacre in Las Vegas. I posted it on social media, and throughout the day I saw this verse so many other times, being shared far and wide. By the dreamers. We are connected to something, larger than ourselves, and we are echoing each other and sharing the message we all carry. This verse came into our heads during this tragedy for a reason. We didn’t act alone, we acted together, perhaps from a future place.
Trust in it. Act from it. Help from it. Speak from it. Keep believing and give the enemy no reason to remove you. How much more powerful are we together, dwelling in the age to come, rather than alone suffering in this hell that is not permanent or lasting?
May we all dwell in hope and may we leave this hell behind.
May we create our vision that we imagine.
Today.
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