As I awoke from my depressed slumber from the late eve of election night, I immediately checked my phone for the results. There it was. Donald Trump had won the presidential election of The United States of America. Tears started to well, and body temperature began to rise as I could feel my cheeks getting hot. A great feeling of sadness waved over me like a great black cloud. All I wanted to do was pull my blanket over my head and stay all day in the dark. I couldn’t, however, it was time to play mom. Time to shuffle the kids off to public school where they are the minority in a heavily populated Hispanic school district…my purposeful choice.
As I pulled up to the drop off loop, I just sat there in line, observing. I observed the village hard at work to provide a quality education to all of these kids. The Hispanic women paraprofessionals were helping the parents get their children out of the car, help them put their backpacks on, and usher them inside the school. A school where every sign on the wall and every piece of paper going home to parents has an equivalent Spanish version of it.
I watched the children walking through the door, children of every race, creed, and religion, and teared up realizing that they were unaware of the mourning of that day. Unaware that millions of their fellow Americans voted to put a racist, xenophobic, chauvinist in the highest seat of their land, who showed by his words and actions had no respect for anyone or the planet. The Hispanic children were unaware that some members of their family might be deported.
As I drove out, alone and on my way to yoga, I could finally deal with my emotions. I began to scream and cry. Then scream again, and cuss. Honestly, in all of my 35 years of life, never have I felt that type of anger. It was pure madness deep down at a core of my soul in a place I didn’t even know existed. The Holy Spirit within me felt like a deranged monster, but there was a softness and deep sadness there too. All through yoga that morning, I cried. I couldn’t stop. The energy in the entire studio was collectively low and filled with a silent, deafening grief.
It wasn’t because Hillary lost. It was the soul-crushing disappointment of my fellow Americans. I didn’t know what we truly are before that day. My spirit was completely broke and knowing my entire family supported Trump made the day that much more enlightening and disheartening. My disappointment with the hypocrisy of evangelical Christianity pierced my soul as well. Who was Jesus to this institution?
It was the final nail in the coffin to my Christianity. The next three months thereafter I struggled with depression, an existential crisis, a family I didn’t really know or understand, and what to do with my passionate rage. I checked out for a while, then I’d argue on Facebook, then I’d check out again. There was no place to escape, the frightening reality was now my reality, and tweet after tweet, and cabinet pick after cabinet pick, further took me down.
In two days He will be inaugurated. He’ll place his hand on a sacred text and take an oath to uphold the constitution of the United States. After all of his contracting words and plans to this oath, America will watch him swear on a Bible he’s never read. I don’t know why good folks are blinded right now, but they are.
But the ones that see, I’m speaking to you. I have found you, we have found each other, and for that I’m thankful. I see countless regular Americans pushing their sleeves up and working. We are speaking out, standing up for what’s right, through blogs, art, podcasts, books, and music. I see many black sheep of their Christian families rising up to say “No More.” I see them leaving the Church and joining a body of people fighting for humanity and the planet. It’s beautiful, and may not be happening if we weren’t facing such catastrophic times. This gave us power. This election has fueled our rage.
Our anger is justified. I imagine Jesus felt this same passionate rage when he saw the merchants and money changers doing the business of greed in the temple. That deep spiritual anger caused him to flip over their tables, and make whips out of cords to drive them out. This story has been included in all four gospels and has been named “Cleansing of the Temple.” Read more about this story here.
Our work is just that, cleansing of the temple. God’s temple is everywhere. Let us keep going. We won’t be stopped. Our purpose is clear, and let’s try our best to keep our rage burning with love. Love will win, and deep down at our core, we know that is true. And that surge in Spirit you’re feeling, it’s real. Let your day job be your side hustle for your real work.
Ecclesiastes 3 1-8 begins “For everything, there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…and ends with “a time for war, and a time for peace.”
We are in the middle. No time to waste. Use your gifts, this time is the reason we have them.
When i read your post… I felt in the middle of the post it’s only about your rage because Mr. trump become a President…. But when you changed my perception in end. The beautiful line ” use your gift, this time is the reason…”
Really, love your views. ?
I hope you like my blog http://wp.me/p8g2rs-31
Your site implies that you know the “real” Jesus . Stop with the symantrics and just say who you really are or what you really believe. I’ve moved on – you think it’s ok to kill babies and there is not anything I can say to change that . Good luck and good bye
The words of Jesus have transformed me and my relationship to myself, humanity, and the planet.
Like I said, the words and teachings of Jesus, and his good news of compassion, healing, and restoration have been lost in mainstream Christianity.
I never said it was “ok to kill babies.”
I said there are circumstances where the surgical procedure of a fetal abortion are justified. If you’re going to attack me, at least understand my position.
Good luck to you.
All these arguments for abortion have been refuted before so I won’t take the time to present facts , pro choice people are not interested in facts . The fact that you rip a child out of its womb, a child with a beating heart , crush it’s head , pour acid on it , and try to make this horrible act as some kind of women’s right is barbaric . No matter what your reasons for having a abortion , they are trumped by the death of a innocent child . Watch the many videos of abortions being performed and then tell me what a glorious act it is . You people are sick and will be judged by this god you talk about
No one ever said it was glorious. It’s just not a black and white issue. You can continue to name call and try and use fear based Christian rhetoric all you want. You just voted to put a man who brags of sexual assault in the whitehouse. You don’t think God hears all the cries of women who have been sexually assaulted? Your platform also supports no gun reform. You don’t think God hears the cries of all those kindergarteners shot at Sandy Hook? You don’t think God hears the cries of all of the refugees that your platform wants to ignore? You don’t think God hears the cries of all the LGBT people.
To each their own. My beliefs are rooted in love for humanity. Every circumstance I have given you where I believe abortion to be justified you ignore and tell me vicious imagery about the procedure. That fetus feels no pain.
I did not vote for trump . I fell into this site because of your Facebook page – which in my opinion is falsely titled . You don’t claim to be a Christian yet you advertise as one ? That’s beyond the point . Against murder of innocent babies is not Christian rehtotoric , it’s just common sense that killing a baby is not the answer .
In my article I renounce my Christianity. I study Jesus’ words which I believe are lost in the evangelical churches of today. This election proves that.
Abortion is a surgical procedure, eradicating a fetus, not a baby.
This is an excerpt from my FB page. In no way do I claim Christianity.
“Exploring fundamental American Christianity, losing religion, the real Jesus, and life after leaving the Church.”
Thank you, Kimberly. I went to church during the inauguration to pray for our country and found myself kneeling in front of the altar uncontrollably sobbing. When I returned home and opened FB, your post was at the top of my newsfeed. You have put everything I’ve been feeling into such beautiful words.
Thank you, Kimberly. Kind words on this fateful day.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really needed these words today!
Bless you.
We live in a rural California community. My daughter goes to a Catholic school that in like the public schools around us. She is Hispanic in the sense that Bill Richardson is Hispanic or Barack Obama is white. She also participates in a mixed 4-H group in which the core group are white Trump voters. Our circumstance is not a delibirate choice, it simply is what it is. The anger and depression you describe are what my white, Trump-voting friends say (justifiably or not) that they have felt for 8 years. For me it feels like listening to a beloved brother and sister snipe about and occasionally shout at each other. I think that we also need to remember Eclesiastes. Cleansing the temple was one moment in Jesus’ ministry. There is a time for speaking truth to power, and there is a time for ministering to corrupt officials (tax collectors) and a time for private conversations across party lines (Nicodemus). For most of us on the front line, I think our task needs to be to keep preparing the soil so that shoots can return when the sun comes out and the angels of our better nature can work.
Amen, sister,Amen! I had the same image of Jesus in the temple right after the election. God have mercy on us and give us the words to speak and the wisdom to know when to speak them.
This is exactly how I have felt since election day. It’s not that Hillary lost, but that a man like Trump could win. For those who cannot support this morally bankrupt president, may we continue to fight for the rights of ALL people.
Thank you for putting words to my feelings! I’ll be marching Saturday. I will be part of the Resistance against the destruction of our Constitution, Country and planet.
I’m not even American, but I have loads of American friends, some of which didn’t vote. I cried all day after the election, most people around me thought I was a bit OTT, but I just couldn’t help it, it was more than just shallow emotion, it was literal grief. I saw people I respect and admire spiritually, support Trump. And that’s when I realised, I could still admire them and yet admit disagreement, I could even think they made a bad choice there and then but still respect their spiritual gifts and fruit and the way they love Jesus, but boy, is it hard…
I’m still crying to be honest. It feels a bit surreal, but I also think that we were made for such a time as this, to show love and unity in countries that are divided and broken. Being French, some people took Trump’s election as an encouragement, and I pray with all my heart we don’t go down that route as well… But if we ever did, may it be used for God’s Kingdom, allowing us to show Jesus who is kindness, grace and generosity embodied and truth that cuts deep and clean.
Praying all of you accross the pond!
I cannot look at Pence without wondering how such a faithful “Christian” could effusively lie as he praises Trump. I’ve decided he’s a CINO. First they will start off with a message from a woman doing the business of greed not only in the temple, but standing at the actual altar. Then, they’ll stand with their hands on Bibles, lying to uphold the Constitution and protect the American people. All thanks to the millions of CINOs who elected a false idol to lead our nation. May God have mercy on us all.
Thank you. I am so glad I am not alone. I am praying. And I am standing.
This totally describes me. Thank you for sharing.
Find your joy. God will provide it. Keep praying that He protects us from this evil man.
Thank you for reading. I definitely have a healthy perspective now. If it weren’t for Trump, goodness in action wouldn’t be spreading like wildfire.
Your crying because on candidate lost and another won? We’re are the tears for the babies that have a hole punched in their head and brains sucked out ? Not from rape or incest or mothers health issues , everyone is healthy but they go ahead and kill the baby anyway . .Unbelievable ! Please stop calling yourself a Christian . There is no way the spirit of god lives in anyone that thinks it’s ok to pour poison on a baby in its mother womb
Like I said, abortion isn’t a black and white issue. I don’t call myself a Christian. I study the words of Jesus and believe in the collective spirit. I believe he would have compassion and that belief comes from the words he spoke.
Have a wonderful day. Love and light. I hope you can try and put yourself in a rape victims shoes, or any of the other situations I described.
I hope you can put yourself in a baby’s shoes who brains are being sucked out by a vaccum. Less than 5% of abortions are because of rape . Share your light and love with the babies that are in the dumpster of your local abortion clinic
What drivel . If this is what’s caused you the most anger in your 35 years you should be ashamed . How about a little anger for all the aborted babies your candidate thinks is great ? Unbelievable . .Please print what church you go to so I never accidentally stumble in
What is truly unbelievable is forcing a woman to carry a child to term resulting from rape or incest. What is truly unbelievable is defunding planned parenthood that provides women access to birth control which prevent unwanted pregnancies. What is truly unbelievable is forcing a woman to have a child that will have no quality of life due to severe abnormal defects. What is unbelievable is forcing a woman to choose between her life and a fetus’.
This election should not have been about the single issue of abortion. Trump switched from Prochoice to Prolife because it got him the “win.” It is doubtful much will change with abortion law after the win. While it is hard for the right to understand, the existing laws along with access to healthcare, sex education, affordable birth control, better conditions for women, keep abortion rates lower than if it was made illegal (check the facts from around the world). They also help to ensure that when done, if they are done, they are done earlier at a time when the embryo does not have all the equipment to feel, know, or care. In a black market or DIY environment, they will happen more often, more of them later, and much more carnage to both the woman and fetus…those are the hard facts. There is so much more at stake than abortion…there are civil rights, worker’s rights, women’s rights, wages, education, healthcare, aid to the poor, the environment, the economy, human rights violations against entire religions, more corruption with a corrupt president, etc Abortion is too often used as a single issue to gain votes and not much more, has been since Roe v. Wade, and likely will continue until people become more educated.
DEP,do you really believe what you just wrote? You say more harm will be done to all including the fetus if abortion / Row Wade overturned . What possibly more harm could come to the dead fetuses ? If a society is willing to slaughter babies in the womb and if some how they survive an abortion , be left on a table without any medical intervention to die , what is next ? Obama and Clinton will answer for their crimes to humanity
Dave, yes I agree killing babies is wrong. Why do you only see one kind of killing? There are many wrongful deaths we have to look at. Stand up for people being deported to countries where they will be killed. Stand against war, capital punishment, 5000 women a year used to died from botched illegal abortions. Do you want their deaths on your conscious when you make abortion illegal? Sure these women are sinners but if you can forgive Trump his huge sins surly you can forgive these desperate women and feel sorry about their deaths. There is another way to fight abortion. It is called prevention. Free Healthcare for women is the answer. Abortion is down under the Affordable Care Act. Another way to fight abortion has been suggested by Pope Francis. Work to make adopting a child easier.
Beautiful Your words spoke to me. As a Christian I am sruggling to understand the hypocrisy of this re legion I belong too. I can only look yo Jesus for continued strength and know like you the are others out there that feel the same ??
Dave, abortion happened before Roe v. Wade, (and far before Obama and Clinton) and it will continue if it is overturned. That is a fact of life, and it has been for thousands of years. They will use coat hangers, home remedy poisons, throw themselves downstairs, get a black market butcher, whatever it takes. As described by a prolifer, former prochoice activist., it is like an animal caught in a trap who will gnaw off its own foot to free itself from the trap. Women die during DIY, black market botched abortions.
After Roe v. Wade, today, the majority of abortions occur before the 8th week of pregnancy, before brain activity occurs. Most states make it illegal to have late term abortions. The feds do not prohibit states from passing late term abortion laws. Before Roe v. wade, abortions could happen at any stage of development on the black market or DIY as people waited or put it off. Later term abortions, the fetus can feel pain, and should only happen in health risk, life/death decisions
If you really want to prevent abortions, the answer isn’t in making it illegal, we have been there before. It is finding out why women get them, and fix that.
If it is lack of information, give them sex education. If it is lack of birth control, make sure they get that (e.g. free by Obamacare, right?), get them affordable healthcare so they can afford to get prenatal care & pay for the delivery. If they can’t afford to raise a child, not cheap these days, address better wages, more jobs, affordable daycare, don’t cut welfare, etc If they are worried about losing their jobs, give them paid leaves. If they worry about being scorned and outcast as a single mom, stop shaming them, don’t give welfare moms a bad rap. Unfortunately, the anti-abortionists don’t want to do most of those preventative, demand reduction things, all policies that Clinton/Obama did want to do. Do you see the problem here? The democratic platform isn’t for running around and killing babies. It acknowledges the reality of the real world and attempts to deal with it in a reductionary way, knowing it will never eliminate it.